Depth Finders
I understand better than most that curiosity can be such a dangerous trait to possess. Rolling up on a hole, pond, creek or full-on bog filled to the rim with a visibility factor of zero somehow awakens dangerous levels of curiosity within select personality types, and is not easily thwarted or shaken from the mind. For these curious folks-often referred to as "Depth Finders"-once an object of interest is discovered, cranking up the motor and riding away from that object which so powerfully grasps their attention would likely cause painful thoughts of "what if" that would agitate them for the remaining hours of the day. No matter how much they resist the urges, that voice inside their head (possibly a buddy's voice) just will not give them peace until they've dipped their high-dollar ride into the hole to discover its depth.
It was, in fact, that very same aforementioned struggle of the mind that convinced this "depth-finding" Polaris owner to silence his internal voices by venturing into the depths of this massive body of water. As mentioned previously, curiosity is a dangerous trait (which also creates great "swamped" stories), and the bobbing Polaris was the one on the receiving end of the harsh consequences. I'm almost positive this Depth Finder did not learn his lesson and will find his way to another intriguing object of destruction sooner or later, as curious people will always be curious. I just hope he took our advice of draining that oil multiple times before cranking that water-saturated Polaris back up again.
Chemically Imbalanced
I'm baffled by the fact that there actually are people who suffer from a greater deficiency of common sense (yet possess an abundance of stupidity) than myself. Cruising the famous High Line after dark at the Mud Nationals, you can expect to experience plenty of unusual things such as the world's largest ATV and UTV traffic jam, the thumping and echoing of thousands of idling exhausts and, well, my all-time favorite activity of watching stupid people doing stupid things. As we jammed to some tunes and slowly crept our UTV along in the stop-and-go traffic, nothing could have prepared us for the laughter ultimately caused by disgust and furthered by severe stupidity. Out of nowhere, a six-passenger Ranger slam-packed with an interesting group of people (who most definitely suffered from a variety of chemical shortcomings) impatiently forced their way into the line right in front of us. Disgust quickly infected our group as two large unattractive ladies (the kind who would make Jaba The Hut cringe) began showing off their best pole dancing skills with the back of the Ranger as their stage. One of them even sunk her fangs into an unopened and well-shaken beer can and sucked it completely dry, all while beaming seductive messages our way with her eyes. My buddy Josh thought it was kind of hot, but he was definitely the only one!
As our entire crew viciously hurled the contents of our stomachs (due to their sickening performance), the confident Ranger pilot decided that patience was no longer an option. Making use of a more chemically saturated portion of his brain (the part that stimulates unintelligent thinking), he yanked that Ranger out of line and sunk it deep into the murky channel of mud and water that flows alongside the High Line road. Aside from being a shortcut for unintelligent pilots, this water channel also plays host to the Endurance Challenge event and often "swamps" the majority of those who dare to take it on. For about 30 seconds his plan of action seemed ingenious as he made his passes and cut off a major portion of the road, but surely 99 percent of those traversing the High Line that night suffered patiently through the pains of the traffic jam and remained on solid ground for a good reason.
As the slick, rutted shore was within grasp of the mild-sized lugs on this Ranger, they reached out and began clawing and searching for a bottom to bite and safely pull them to high ground. Unfortunately for this crew (exciting for ourselves and hundreds of others), that's not how things went down. As the front left tire finally got a bite into the hard bottom of the severely off-cambered rut, with a mixture of improper weight distribution (thanks to our plus-sized vixen), the Ranger, its passengers and all of its cargo capsized into the dark cold pit. "Swamped" would be an understatement in regards to the mess this crew dug themselves into. No lie, hundreds of people sitting idle in the High Line's gridlock spent the next 20 minutes elevating the victims' level of humiliation by shining light on their extreme lack of judgment. They soiled their clothes, battled the sheer size of the Ranger and struggled until exhaustion literally set in. Yes, they finally escaped the pit, but not before their self-esteem took a severe beating.